There are so many things that could fall under this topic, but today I want to talk about “Mom”ing when you are completely exhausted, overwhelmed, and just flat out challenged by being a mom. We’ve all had those days, haven’t we? The days where it seems like it’s doomed from the moment you wake up (or forget to wake up) until the second you go to bed. I have these days more than I’d like to admit. Honestly, most of the time it’s my fault, because I hate mornings, but sometimes, even though God has allowed me to wake in the morning and have a loving, healthy family, I feel like the stars are stacked against me. Those are the days that it’s hardest to thank God for what you have, but often times the days we need to do it the most. Those are also the days we sometimes just need our moms to talk and cry to for a minute to get us through the moment, the hour, the day, and unfortunately, sometimes even the week.
A couple of months ago I had a day like this. I remember it quite well. I overslept by about 15 minutes that day. My Vivian, who wakes up so happy every morning didn’t fail me that day. My Lila Jane, however, feels the same about mornings as I do. We like to let the sun get hot before we get out of bed. So it was the typical,
Me: Lila, get up.
Lila: <no response>
Me (two minutes later): Lila, get up. We’ve got to get moving this morning.
Lila: <groans words that there’s no way I could decipher if it was recorded and I listened to it 100 times>
Me: LILA, GET UP NOW!! WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS THIS MORNING.
Lila: <still no words> <throws covers over her head>
Well, you get the picture……I don’t have to go on.
So we get in the car, Lila in her pajamas, groaning and complaining as much as possible, Vivian screaming at me that she “doesn’t like this song”. Oh yes, of course, let me cater to your song choice even though I happen to love the Bee Gees in the morning. School (daycare) drop off happens, surprisingly no crying and I make it to work only about 10 minutes late. Hey, I considered that a win actually.
Finally I’m at work and able to rest for a little bit. Work is work, you know how that goes. The day goes by, typical ups and downs that come with that.
Now it’s time for the pick-up. Smiles and laughs and hugs and kisses that occurred immediately upon them seeing me quickly change into “Mom, I want Whip and Nae Nae”. “No, I don’t like that song anymore.” “Ahhhhhhh!!! I want Whip and Nae Nae.” Ok, Whip and Nae Nae it is, even though she knows she can’t do the stanky leg in her car seat that upsets her more and more every time. Cue screams from the other child who in the past 30 seconds has decided that she doesn’t like Whip and Nae Nae any more. This is a really fun start to the evening! Yes! I can’t wait!
Get home, grab a bite to eat and get ready for gymnastics. Now I think the 35 minute drive TO gymnastics was the most pleasant part of my day. Journey Off The Map CD from the summer’s bible tour of churches got us through. Who said they never wanted to listen to the same six songs 4 times in one drive? Whatever, they were smiling and singing and being happy…not even fighting. And, the songs are pretty catchy. Win!
By the time we were ready to head home, we all started to lose it a little. The screams and fighting that most moms know all the well accompanied us home. The only thing I knew to do was to turn on my Pandora and fire up Bob Seger radio. By the time I got home, I just let the girls out, and stayed in the van. For about 15 minutes I just jammed out, no one yelling at me, screaming orders my way, or simply talking to me. It was just me…and Bob Seger. Man, I love that guy! I finally sent a text to my mom. I knew she’d understand. Not that we ever used to act that way to her!! You know, sometimes you just need those moments alone. Sometimes you just don’t want to hear anything but lyrics, not even the thoughts in your own head. Sometimes you don’t want your 5-year-old and 2-year-old screaming at you or *deep breath* even talking to you. And then your mom comes back at you with ‘before you know it, you’ll be wishing those screaming, yelling, fighting, singing kids of yours would call you from college’. Man, talk about always putting it right back into perspective for you. I distinctly remember the immediate tears that invaded my eyes as that future college student knocked on my window and asked me if I was done yet. “Yes, honey I am.”
I think about that day so often, more so the end of that day and remember how I felt as I walked back in the house and hugged the girls. The girls that had just driven me to loud music and tears, but still make me love them so much. I think about that when we wake up in the morning. I think about how when I went to bed that night still overwhelmed, still exhausted, and feeling even more challenged than I did that morning, but thanking God for all that he has given me even though I don’t deserve it. Thanking Him for his blessings. Sometimes those blessings come in ways that we don’t necessarily want or expect them, but guess what, He’s still blessing us. He blesses us constantly. He blesses us richly. He blesses us with unconditional love that we don’t deserve. Let’s work on reacting in that same way to our kids, our spouses, our friends, our “enemies”, our co-workers, our…..everyone.